“Divine happiness, even the tiniest particle of a grain of it, never leaves one again; and when one attains to the essence of things and finds one’s Self–this is supreme happiness. When it is found, nothing else remains to be found; the sense of want will not awaken anymore, and the heart’s torment will be stilled forever. Do not be satisfied with fragmentary happiness, which is invariably interrupted by shocks and blows of fate; but become complete, and having attained to perfection, be YOURSELF.”
- Sri Anandamayi Ma
These words of my Guru encapsulate my desired life's mission. Once we experience, not through the mind as an idea, but through a real experience, the joyful loving state that is our natural state of being, we are able to end our perpetual cycle of suffering.
Kirtan, Sattva Yoga, and the birth of my daughter have been the most powerful, revealing, and life changing experiences of my life. I've found that the teachings that most deeply resonate come from sharing the moments where we are most vulnerable... that our vulnerability, one of our greatest strengths, is the fertile ground of shared experience. Our humanness the key to our beauty.
The practice of kirtan has been one of profound healing for me in my life. Since childhood, I have always loved to sing. It was this love that led me to Carnegie Mellon University where I received a BFA in Musical Theatre. Following college, I spent the next 5 years hustling in both LA and NYC trying to break into the business. The whole experience left me feeling deeply insecure with no desire to share my voice. When I discovered kirtan music, it was like a balm for my heart. Kirtan is not about the sound of your voice... it is not a performance. It is a heart felt cry to our Creator. It is a way to express and feel and share the vast love within our hearts. Once I shared in kirtan, I knew what my voice was for. I have witnessed, both in myself and others, the power behind this ancient practice, and warmly extend the invitation to all to try. See what happens if you let yourself go!
In 2013, I traveled to India to attend the Sattva Yoga teacher training. It's hard to explain the magic and mystery of that sacred land. India itself, everything you encounter there, is a teacher. This, paired with the wisdom and teachings of Anand, cracked my heart open yet again. It revealed how so many of the limitations we feel in life are self imposed and not truly there. Life is always working to support our evolution... even if it is difficult to understand at times. There are so many moving parts we can not see, but if we are clear and able to trust the process, we tap into the force behind all that is. The love that connects us all.
Of all of the heart opening experiences I have had in my life, nothing could have prepared me for the arrival of my children. Everything about pregnancy and birth, I found to be about letting go. Our bodies, the muscles and tissue, softening and letting go to support an ever growing babe. Making a birth plan, but being able to let go of any ideas you may have in the moment to do what is best for the life you are bringing forth. Letting go of the identity and life you knew before the arrival of this little pure being. Nothing could have prepared me for motherhood and nothing has taught me more.